It’s fascinating that when two past lovers, who were so certain they’d never have a future, find each other again. They rekindle their relationship or recreate feelings they never believed they could feel again somehow being closer than they ever were the first time around. Relationships are quite complicated. Yet with time, and more so time apart, people begin to see concepts from different perspectives.
I don’t believe people ever really change. We are all quite the same people we all have once been, but simply act less irrationally. We grow. We mature. We figure out what actually matters and fight battles worth fighting for. We stop worrying about the necessity of fixing problems immediately or needing all the answers.
The older I get the more I realize that the path I travel on to achieve my goals is not something I can choose or plan. I can choose to have a family. I can choose the job field I am apart of. I can choose how much effort I put into achieving great accomplishments.
You can’t, however, choose how people act. You can’t manipulate your world and surroundings to fit into your “perfect plan.” The act of falling back in love with someone isn’t necessarily something you planned for, but on the off-chance it happened, or happening, don’t be so quick to assume that they will act as they once did to turn you off to a future with that person. There have been plenty of times that I see an old photo, look at old work, or I’m reminded of a past action and have no idea what I was thinking. I feel shame, embarrassment and humor regarding some of the things I did in my college years.
We are the same us we’ve always been, but a little wiser, and a little less likely to act how we once have. The problems and disputes you once had with that person can’t be fought about if the reason you’d get angry isn’t a reason anymore. With time you’ll figure out that life is too short to sit around trying to fix people and make them conform to your opinion of how they should act.
Once you start looking at what truly makes you happy, instead of nitpicking what made you mad so long ago, sometimes a past lover happens to fall into those happy little parameters.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/rediscovering-love/201505/coming-home-when-old-loves-rekindle